Apostrophe
Last night, I had something of a revelation. On the advice of a friend, I used a lovely Barnes and Noble gift card to buy the book Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss. Like any sane person, I wondered how a book about punctuation could possibly be a page-turner. But lo, it is. I stayed up until the wee hours last night, reading it, nay, devouring it, and I finally feel, for the first time, that I am not alone. I am not alone in weeping for the demise of the English language. I am not alone in secretly carrying sticky-notes to stealthily correct the punctuation on signs. I am not alone when I bristle at the pummeling our language is taking thanks to the email revolution.
Lynne Truss is my new hero. She suggests that all of those who have told people like me to "get a life" are self-justifying Philistines. We, the grammar sticklers, are not a bunch of priggish pedants who look down our noses. We are simply great lovers of the English language. We understand its power when properly used, and its power to confuse when mangled by an ignoramus. Lynne suggests that all of the sticklers need to come out of the closet, and gently correct things that are not so; to stand up and say, "It's not OK!"
I have been railed against by certain family members for correcting the spelling and punctuation on their websites. These are professional websites that damn well should be correct. "I will fix your car's." just looks stupid. That's right, I'm saying it out loud. It LOOKS STUPID, and it makes you look stupid. Never mind that it is just wrong. It's wrong, and no amount of apathy will make it right. But it's MY fault for pointing that out? NAY! NAY, I say!
Our educational system is so focused on self-esteem that it is forgetting to educate children. Demanding proper grammar does not, I repeat, DOES NOT hinder self-expression! Quite the contrary, I think. Proper grammar allows a child to express herself more accurately and more fully, and dare I say, allows for greater understanding by her audience. Isn't that the goal of language? Isn't it? Am I on drugs? What's happening here?
When newspaper editors can no longer figure out the apostrophe, we are in serious trouble. I am not suggesting that the language be held captive. I know as well as anyone that a living language is dynamic. But these simple printers' marks are necessary for our understanding!
No longer will I sit idly by while the humble apostrophe gets abused. I will not watch Starsky and Hutch while our language degenerates into mere grunts. I'm taking up my Sharpie in defense of my cherished language, and I'm coming after the Philistines. So get your "its" and "it's" straight or you'll find me at your door with a red pen. Because I will not be alone.
Lynne Truss is my new hero. She suggests that all of those who have told people like me to "get a life" are self-justifying Philistines. We, the grammar sticklers, are not a bunch of priggish pedants who look down our noses. We are simply great lovers of the English language. We understand its power when properly used, and its power to confuse when mangled by an ignoramus. Lynne suggests that all of the sticklers need to come out of the closet, and gently correct things that are not so; to stand up and say, "It's not OK!"
I have been railed against by certain family members for correcting the spelling and punctuation on their websites. These are professional websites that damn well should be correct. "I will fix your car's." just looks stupid. That's right, I'm saying it out loud. It LOOKS STUPID, and it makes you look stupid. Never mind that it is just wrong. It's wrong, and no amount of apathy will make it right. But it's MY fault for pointing that out? NAY! NAY, I say!
Our educational system is so focused on self-esteem that it is forgetting to educate children. Demanding proper grammar does not, I repeat, DOES NOT hinder self-expression! Quite the contrary, I think. Proper grammar allows a child to express herself more accurately and more fully, and dare I say, allows for greater understanding by her audience. Isn't that the goal of language? Isn't it? Am I on drugs? What's happening here?
When newspaper editors can no longer figure out the apostrophe, we are in serious trouble. I am not suggesting that the language be held captive. I know as well as anyone that a living language is dynamic. But these simple printers' marks are necessary for our understanding!
No longer will I sit idly by while the humble apostrophe gets abused. I will not watch Starsky and Hutch while our language degenerates into mere grunts. I'm taking up my Sharpie in defense of my cherished language, and I'm coming after the Philistines. So get your "its" and "it's" straight or you'll find me at your door with a red pen. Because I will not be alone.
posted by Kristine at 1:03 PM
8 Comments:
Isn't that book the best? I received both versions for my birthday. My husband bought me the book, and my parents bought me the audio CD version, with no prior planning from either party. A good laugh was had by all. The CD is great, it contains the British radio shows on which the book is based. The author and the guests she has on are hilarious. I highly recommend it.
I absolutely hate it when people use unnecessary apostrophes in plurals. When I started my job I became responsible for many reports, and one portion of the report prompted users to "Enter UPC's". It took me the better part of a week to figure out why that looked funky. I stayed late to ensure they were all corrected.
I'm sorry to say I still struggle when trying to figure out the proper use for colons and semi-colons. Oh well, the pursuit of grammar perfection will always be a constant struggle for me.
It's super cool how you're setting out to be a grammar vigilante. Maybe you could get a cape, or a sidekick, or, you know, something along those lines. -kd
KD, I have never been a big fan of the semicolon. Only recently have I begun to appreciate its inherent charm. Generally I prefer, as Lynne and the Brits call it, a full stop. Just starting a new sentence leaves less chance of being wrong. But lately, I've been taking my chances with the semicolon, and it has not yet done me ill.
I love this book. I think it should be required reading for every single native English-speaker. The thing that made me happiest was the discovery of the term "Oxford comma". As it happens, I use the Oxford comma, and cannot make myself stop doing so, even though my journalist friend tells me it is wrong. I was SO happy to find out I was right. Now I want to make a t-shirt that says, "I heart the Oxford comma." It's a stylistic choice, and I am happier for it.
Anyway, I would SO love to hear the CD version. I may try to get it from the library. It sounds great. I'll bet Lynne Truss would be a great person to have a beer with. She's hilarious. Do you think we could arrange that?
OOOOOOOHHHHH! My t-shirts should say this:
"I love apostrophes, semicolons, and Oxford commas."
That would drive my friend LOONY. I'll have to get right on it.
Note to the uninitiated: The comma before "and" in a list is an Oxford comma. I always use them, and I love them. Now I'm free to love them openly, as our relationship is no longer taboo.
Yes, I always use the Oxford comma. I remember a teacher once telling us that it isn't necessary, but I don't like how a sentence looks without it. Great t-shirt idea. You should market it.
Lynne does seem like a person who enjoys a pint now and then. She has a very dry humor and is just a blast on the CD.
More than the "it's" "its" misuse, screwing up their-there-they're drives me up a wall. That's the only mistake I insist on pointing out to friends. -kd
Does this mean that you are a Grammar Nazi? :)
Ooooh, maybe I am a Grammar Nazi. Um, nah. I prefer to think of myself as the Grammar Ninja. I don't know. I'll have to think about that. Clearly, though, I need a name. Something cool and stealthy.
Count me in for the crusade against grammar sloppiness.
For the record, I teach 3rd grade, to children whose second language is English, no less, and even they recognize that poor spelling makes one very hard to understand.
I'm going to have to find that book. :)
Wow, I missed the bit about Oxford commas before, and I love and use them too!
If you do want to make the shirts, you can do it at cafepress.com. I think they kind of gank you on profits, but it's still fun.
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