For the love of Pete, STOP!

***This post is rated P, for profanity.***

Will people PLEASE stop using the following expressions, like, EVERYWHERE?

1. pwn : This is entirely meaningless and I will not allow it to creep into my vocabulary.
2. Drinking the Kool-Aid : Every single person on talk radio says this every single day. Aside from being completely hackneyed at this point, it's also a really unsavory reference. Think about it! EW!
3. Thinking outside the box : OK, the moment these words escape your lips, I write you off as completely vacuous, with no original thought, inside or outside of the so-called, alleged BOX. Anything that follows this is all pops and buzzers to my ears. I had a boss who liked to say it. She would say, "OK, people, we need to start thinking outside of the box." What I heard was, "OK, people, I got nothin', but I do love the sound of my own voice." This phrase, and other awful buzzphrases, come about because most people just talk WAY TOO DAMNED MUCH. Having something to say is no longer a requirement for talking, I suppose. For proof, see : Barack Obama.
4. Chillax : Oh, dear God, but this is unacceptable. I heard somebody say this at the book store today. I had to suppress my violent urges.

Will people PLEASE stop doing the following?

1. Talking on cell phones in restaurants. Shut your pie hole. Shut it NOW. This conversation about your tee time can wait until you're done with your x-treme fajitas. Take that fuckin' bluetooth garbage off your ear and talk to your dining companions, you self-important blowhard.
2. Letting your children run wild in a restaurant. I'd like to inform you, Uhura-Looking-Earpiece Man, that your savage, chaos-worshipping children are not even slightly entertaining to me. In fact, they are giving me x-treme indigestion.
3. Borrowing your grandma's handicapped parking permit. Some people really do need these spaces, you know. My mom is one of them, so learn to walk, you lazy slobs.
4. Telling me that I "have to see this movie". No, I don't. "No, but you really do! You have to see it!" No, I don't. "Seriously, you have to see this movie." No, I really, really don't.
5. Parking in front of my mailbox. (That one is just in case any of my neighbors are reading this.)

Better now.