Friday, January 18, 2008

For the love of Pete, STOP!

***This post is rated P, for profanity.***

Will people PLEASE stop using the following expressions, like, EVERYWHERE?

  1. pwn : This is entirely meaningless and I will not allow it to creep into my vocabulary.
  2. Drinking the Kool-Aid : Every single person on talk radio says this every single day. Aside from being completely hackneyed at this point, it's also a really unsavory reference. Think about it! EW!
  3. Thinking outside the box : OK, the moment these words escape your lips, I write you off as completely vacuous, with no original thought, inside or outside of the so-called, alleged BOX. Anything that follows this is all pops and buzzers to my ears. I had a boss who liked to say it. She would say, "OK, people, we need to start thinking outside of the box." What I heard was, "OK, people, I got nothin', but I do love the sound of my own voice." This phrase, and other awful buzzphrases, come about because most people just talk WAY TOO DAMNED MUCH. Having something to say is no longer a requirement for talking, I suppose. For proof, see : Barack Obama.
  4. Chillax : Oh, dear God, but this is unacceptable. I heard somebody say this at the book store today. I had to suppress my violent urges.

Will people PLEASE stop doing the following?

  1. Talking on cell phones in restaurants. Shut your pie hole. Shut it NOW. This conversation about your tee time can wait until you're done with your x-treme fajitas. Take that fuckin' bluetooth garbage off your ear and talk to your dining companions, you self-important blowhard.
  2. Letting your children run wild in a restaurant. I'd like to inform you, Uhura-Looking-Earpiece Man, that your savage, chaos-worshipping children are not even slightly entertaining to me. In fact, they are giving me x-treme indigestion.
  3. Borrowing your grandma's handicapped parking permit. Some people really do need these spaces, you know. My mom is one of them, so learn to walk, you lazy slobs.
  4. Telling me that I "have to see this movie". No, I don't. "No, but you really do! You have to see it!" No, I don't. "Seriously, you have to see this movie." No, I really, really don't.
  5. Parking in front of my mailbox. (That one is just in case any of my neighbors are reading this.)

Better now.


Blogger Lorna said...

pwn and chillax---both totally foreign to me.

I don't mind people using phones in restaurants...pre-cellphone days, they'd be asking me if anybody as young/pretty/awesome as me could be a grandmother/nun/marathon-runner.

8:28 PM  
Blogger Camplin said...

I see a fellow Truth Teller. Please explain pwn and chillax, those are new to me as well, but I am sure as soon as I know, I will be sure to spread it in my area of the country.

12:53 AM  
Blogger Camplin said...

Never mind I Wikipedia the words and I will not be using them anytime soon. I guess I am just to old.

12:58 AM  
Blogger Darrell said...

I'm completely with you on this. All of it. I'd also like to suggest that people stop saying "At the end of the day..." Because, at the end of the day, that phrase has become %$#&^ing annoying.

I also work with a guy who uses the word "cake" as his personal slang term for money. He's the only person I know who does that and he makes sure he has a reason to do it two or three times a day. I would like very much to hit this guy in the face with a dictionary.

8:22 PM  
Blogger b13 said...

pwn was a typo by internet users for "own" that just stuck. Meaning "better than you" or "I pwn you" (gamer and l33t sp3ak)

Annoying, but I admit using it... often when gaming.

12:40 AM  
Blogger b13 said...

Oh, and at the end of the day, Darrell know what's chillaxin'! BEEEE-YOTCH! ;)


12:44 AM  
Blogger The Unseen One said...

Heh. I used "pwned!" on occasion.

How about "He's no Ronald Reagan!" I swear, to some of these people, Ronald Reagan would be no Ronald Reagan!!!

8:55 AM  
Blogger Ken's Girl said...

Your agitation is EXACTLY why some genius out there created "Buzzword Bingo" (the g-rated name. It's also called "Bullshit Bingo" by "playahs".) The first made-up word I encountered in the corp world in 1990 was "synergy". Things just went downhill from there! Whoever created BS Bingo totally "pwned" Corporate presenters from then on! ;-)

3:32 PM  
Blogger MCF said...

This post totally pwns. :)

9:42 PM  

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