Anxiety
If you've read my blog in the past, you know that I am a person who is susceptible to anxiety. Really susceptible. Not depression, so much, but anxiety. And I'm here to tell you that right now, there is just too much going on. I'm forced to stop and physically calm myself rather frequently. I LOVE YOU, YOGA. But even with the yoga, I'm kind of freaking out. Here's the INTJ list of anxiety-inducers:
1. I am turning 36 in less than one week. That is unacceptable, and I think I am about to have a crisis over it. I'm still unsure about what I'm supposed to do with my life and if I should have children. I feel like I'm always watching that 60-Minutes clock.
2. China is building up, militarily, along their borders. Maybe I'm making too much of it, but it feels bad. It's China. They don't have a history of being reasonable.
3. War in Iraq, scary. General world situation, scary. I can't take hearing the word "Fallujah" one more time. I can't bear seeing one more picture of prisoner abuse.
4. Every time I see football on TV, any football, even the mere mention of football, I start to taste metal. I don't know if I'll make it through this Steeler game on Sunday. A desire this great over something as stupid as football is lame, I know, but it's me. Last night, I watched a re-hash of the Jets game and I started yelling at the TV as if it were all happening all over again. And I got so tense that my shoulder almost became lodged in my ear.
5. My house is a mess right now and I can't get it under control. I clean and my spousal unit goes through it like a tornado, and I can't stand living in clutter.
6. I am trying to write a book, and it feels like I keep taking three steps forward and four steps back. It's starting to get to me. I think I may have to start working outside my home for awhile, to see if that helps. Cafes, libraries, something.
I could go on, but I won't. Suffice it to say that this is a really good time for me to be staying away from caffeine. Maybe I'm just going through one of my hermit phases, and I'll feel better soon. I hope so.
In the interest of losing weight, I have limited my wine intake to one night per week. I think this is good, but maybe the drinking was keeping me calm. I'm not finding it difficult to stay at one night per week, and I don't crave the booze, but maybe my nightly glass was keeping me saner. Is this possible?
1. I am turning 36 in less than one week. That is unacceptable, and I think I am about to have a crisis over it. I'm still unsure about what I'm supposed to do with my life and if I should have children. I feel like I'm always watching that 60-Minutes clock.
2. China is building up, militarily, along their borders. Maybe I'm making too much of it, but it feels bad. It's China. They don't have a history of being reasonable.
3. War in Iraq, scary. General world situation, scary. I can't take hearing the word "Fallujah" one more time. I can't bear seeing one more picture of prisoner abuse.
4. Every time I see football on TV, any football, even the mere mention of football, I start to taste metal. I don't know if I'll make it through this Steeler game on Sunday. A desire this great over something as stupid as football is lame, I know, but it's me. Last night, I watched a re-hash of the Jets game and I started yelling at the TV as if it were all happening all over again. And I got so tense that my shoulder almost became lodged in my ear.
5. My house is a mess right now and I can't get it under control. I clean and my spousal unit goes through it like a tornado, and I can't stand living in clutter.
6. I am trying to write a book, and it feels like I keep taking three steps forward and four steps back. It's starting to get to me. I think I may have to start working outside my home for awhile, to see if that helps. Cafes, libraries, something.
I could go on, but I won't. Suffice it to say that this is a really good time for me to be staying away from caffeine. Maybe I'm just going through one of my hermit phases, and I'll feel better soon. I hope so.
In the interest of losing weight, I have limited my wine intake to one night per week. I think this is good, but maybe the drinking was keeping me calm. I'm not finding it difficult to stay at one night per week, and I don't crave the booze, but maybe my nightly glass was keeping me saner. Is this possible?
posted by Kristine at 1:57 PM
2 Comments:
You may want to start getting a regular massage in addition to the nightly glass of wine.
You went from having a glass of wine every night to just one night per week? I think that could very possibly be contributing to your anxiety. I know I feel much mellower when I have a glass of wine, so taking that away is bound to have effects on your emotions. Maybe you should cut it back at a slower rate? And I'm sure the massage would also help.
And even more detremential to one's mental well-being is the news. There's way too much of it around these days. I haven't watched Fox News (or any other news station) in months. I try to check the Drudge Report once a day and that's it. Too much news, especially the same war stories over and over again, will drive you batty.
As for the football game, I seriously didn't think I'd be able to make it through last weekend's game. We're not big drinkers and didn't have any alcohol around last Saturday. This weekend, we've got a big bottle of tequila mix to go with a big bottle of Sauza. It will be flowing freely around 6 pm on Sunday.
Hope you start feeling better soon!
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