Zero
For Kelly
Ladies and gentlemen, let it never be said that Kristine has no sense of adventure, no pioneering spirit. I sit here, freshly returned from Sheetz. In front of me sits a Zero Bar. I'm about to taste it. Here are my impressions as I do.
I'm opening the wrapper, and it is far whiter than I expected. I was imagining a thin veil of white chocolate, but no. It's quite substantial. It looks repulsive, like that white asparagus. Unnatural. It smells like white chocolate, and it reminds me of the Easters of my childhood. White chocolate bunnies. Ick.
I just took a bite and am now waiting for a taste to happen... Data overload. I cannot process this. Another bite, if I can get the first one out of my teeth. I thought there would be peanuts. No reason. I just thought there would. But it's just this mysterious thing called nougat. It tastes, well, really bad. Third and definitely final bite. No. I'm sorry. No. This is not worth the calories. This is not worth the chewing. OH! It hurts my teeth really bad! My teeth are really sensitive to sugar, and I can't get this out. My own fault. Chewed on wrong side. OUCH. The aftertaste that I'm experiencing is something akin to an unpleasant smell. I can't put my finger on it. Yuck. OW. Teeth. This is definitely not for me. Oh, bollocks.
I'll take a picture.
Kelly, want the rest of this?
Ladies and gentlemen, let it never be said that Kristine has no sense of adventure, no pioneering spirit. I sit here, freshly returned from Sheetz. In front of me sits a Zero Bar. I'm about to taste it. Here are my impressions as I do.
I'm opening the wrapper, and it is far whiter than I expected. I was imagining a thin veil of white chocolate, but no. It's quite substantial. It looks repulsive, like that white asparagus. Unnatural. It smells like white chocolate, and it reminds me of the Easters of my childhood. White chocolate bunnies. Ick.
I just took a bite and am now waiting for a taste to happen... Data overload. I cannot process this. Another bite, if I can get the first one out of my teeth. I thought there would be peanuts. No reason. I just thought there would. But it's just this mysterious thing called nougat. It tastes, well, really bad. Third and definitely final bite. No. I'm sorry. No. This is not worth the calories. This is not worth the chewing. OH! It hurts my teeth really bad! My teeth are really sensitive to sugar, and I can't get this out. My own fault. Chewed on wrong side. OUCH. The aftertaste that I'm experiencing is something akin to an unpleasant smell. I can't put my finger on it. Yuck. OW. Teeth. This is definitely not for me. Oh, bollocks.
I'll take a picture.
Kelly, want the rest of this?
posted by Kristine at 2:56 PM
2 Comments:
I'm so sorry you had to go though that torture on my account! Ah, well, you know what they say: "If eating a nasty candy bar doesn't kill you, it will only make you stronger."
Rumor has it that if you had eaten the Zero with a fork and knife, it would've improved the experience 100 fold.
Kelly, no apologies necessary! It was surely not to my liking, but how would I have even known that if I didn't try? I'm armed with more knowledge for having tried.
Perhaps the knife and fork would've helped. I"m not willing to test that theory, though. Perhaps NH should.
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