Guilty

I have been given a top ten assignment by Name Hidden. Here are my top ten guiltiest cinematic pleasures, with a brief explanation of why:

10. Bring it On (I have NO excuse for this. None.)
9. Legally Blonde (Sorry. It's funny and it has Jennifer Coolidge.)
8. Cruel Intentions (A cheap and pathetic remake of Dangerous Liaisons/Valmont. And there can never be too many of those.)
7. The Princess Diaries (I am powerless against the perfect Julie Andrews. She is all that is good and nice. Also, Heather Matarazzo rocks.)
6. The Thomas Crown Affair (Cheap jokes, cliche writing, and one of my favorite movies ever.)
5. The Saint (Oh, how I hate myself for lovin' you, crazy Val! But what can I say, I'm a sucker for the "master of disguises" thing.)
4. Revenge of the Nerds (Please. Who doesn't secretly love this movie? Too bad about the sequels!)
3. Real Genius (I was hot and I was hungry. Need I say more?)
2. The Scarlet Letter (This movie sucks so hard, I have to tie my hair back while I watch it. But a fiery Gary Oldman sermon and a little full monty are enough to get my vote.)
1. The Count of Monte Cristo (OK, if you thought this movie was good, then you didn't see it. When I watch it, I wear a life-jacket so I won't drown in the cliches. It is my fervent dream to bitch-slap the writer and director and the lead female, Dagmara Dominczyk. But, it has hot Jim Caviezel wearing Napoleonic-era clothing and saying sexy vengeful things. That's all I require. I could easily write a 10-page paper about why this movie blows. In short: terrible writing complete with anachronistic grammatical errors, bad direction, extreme and obvious emotional pandering, and a whiny Mercedes with dewy, tear-filled eyes. A truly great story has been manhandled by a couple of meatballs who couldn't write a proper stop sign. And I love it.)

So there. Now I have to go pop some popcorn and get an approved flotation device, because I know what I'm doing tonight!