Incontrovertible & Random
FACT:
Superman may be able to kick Batman's ass, but if he did, it would only be because he was jealous of Batman's FAR superior level of cool.
FACT:
Similarly, in a fair space battle, Picard could wipe the floor with Mal Reynolds, but, as above, it would only be out of spite.
FACT:
The fact that I've considered these things puts me in the ranks of the geekiest chicks on Planet Earth. Not at the top, I suspect, but definitely in there somewhere.
FACT:
The hottest movie characters are rich men who put on fake accents and lead double lives. I give you: The aforementioned Batman, Thomas Crown, and The Count of Monte Cristo. Extra points for hotness if your motive for leading the double life is revenge.
FACT:
Jim Cantore, I will have your job, eventually. Watch your back, you hot weather dude. I, alone, will be queen of the fluttering on-air windbreaker.
FACT:
I saw a midget wearing a shirt that said, "I'm big in Japan." That is funny on so many levels that I cannot even begin to enumerate them. 1000 cool points to that guy.
FACT:
I have not eaten a "food" product from McDonald's for over 17 years. I have gone in to use the bathroom, though. I usually buy a pop, then, because I feel guilty. More often than not, it's a Sprite. Sprite has no caffeine. The fact that it is 2:30 AM as I write this is evidence of why that is so important to me. I had some tea tonight. Idiot!
FACT:
Coke tastes better than Pepsi. I make no claims regarding the "diet" versions of these beverages.
FACT:
In nocturnal, quiet moments alone, when nobody is looking, when I'm absolutely SURE noobody is looking, I will drink wine out of a box and listen to Against All Odds by Phil Collins. If there were enough wine involved, I could even get misty over that insipid, pandering schlock. Let's not even talk about Total Eclipse of the Heart.
FACT:
Jane Austen, without ever knowing it, kicked the ass of every Bronte (I apologize, but I am far too tired to place the umlaut. It is arguably frivolous anyway.) who ever took pen to paper. Oh, sure, Edward Rochester is dark, mysterious, and sexy, but he's sure no Darcy or Wentworth. I wonder why "repressed" beats out "brooding" every time. Perhaps it's because the brooders would end up being really high-maintenance, and no girl wants a guy more sensitive than she.
FACT:
Ellen DeGeneres and I share a birthday, though several years apart. I would love to have a beer with her to celebrate. As a consolation prize, I would gladly party with any of my other birthday mates: Paul Newman, Mario Lemieux, or Eddie Van Halen. Of the three, I'd choose Paul.
FACT:
Regarding my last post, so long ago, I now use iTunes exclusively, and I have even purchased an iPod. I love them both.
FACT:
The cutest Disney animal of all time is Meeko.
FACT:
In the 18th century, they had no Dixie Cups. Dispute it if you dare.
FACT:
I just got back from a week of camping. A real shower never felt so good. A camp shower just can't compare. But the noise of the 'burbs is already getting to me. Re-entry sucks.
FACT:
I have good, self-absorbed, reasons for not having blogged in so long. I have been reading all your blogs, but have remained relatively silent. For this, I apologize. I have decided that major world news items are too much for me, and politics, too aggravating and anger-inducing. I have chosen to resume my blogging in an enitirely self-serving manner and stick to what I know, and what doesn't get me all upset: Stupid Crap. You may have surmised this from the above.
FACT:
I'm now, finally, hitting the sack.
Superman may be able to kick Batman's ass, but if he did, it would only be because he was jealous of Batman's FAR superior level of cool.
FACT:
Similarly, in a fair space battle, Picard could wipe the floor with Mal Reynolds, but, as above, it would only be out of spite.
FACT:
The fact that I've considered these things puts me in the ranks of the geekiest chicks on Planet Earth. Not at the top, I suspect, but definitely in there somewhere.
FACT:
The hottest movie characters are rich men who put on fake accents and lead double lives. I give you: The aforementioned Batman, Thomas Crown, and The Count of Monte Cristo. Extra points for hotness if your motive for leading the double life is revenge.
FACT:
Jim Cantore, I will have your job, eventually. Watch your back, you hot weather dude. I, alone, will be queen of the fluttering on-air windbreaker.
FACT:
I saw a midget wearing a shirt that said, "I'm big in Japan." That is funny on so many levels that I cannot even begin to enumerate them. 1000 cool points to that guy.
FACT:
I have not eaten a "food" product from McDonald's for over 17 years. I have gone in to use the bathroom, though. I usually buy a pop, then, because I feel guilty. More often than not, it's a Sprite. Sprite has no caffeine. The fact that it is 2:30 AM as I write this is evidence of why that is so important to me. I had some tea tonight. Idiot!
FACT:
Coke tastes better than Pepsi. I make no claims regarding the "diet" versions of these beverages.
FACT:
In nocturnal, quiet moments alone, when nobody is looking, when I'm absolutely SURE noobody is looking, I will drink wine out of a box and listen to Against All Odds by Phil Collins. If there were enough wine involved, I could even get misty over that insipid, pandering schlock. Let's not even talk about Total Eclipse of the Heart.
FACT:
Jane Austen, without ever knowing it, kicked the ass of every Bronte (I apologize, but I am far too tired to place the umlaut. It is arguably frivolous anyway.) who ever took pen to paper. Oh, sure, Edward Rochester is dark, mysterious, and sexy, but he's sure no Darcy or Wentworth. I wonder why "repressed" beats out "brooding" every time. Perhaps it's because the brooders would end up being really high-maintenance, and no girl wants a guy more sensitive than she.
FACT:
Ellen DeGeneres and I share a birthday, though several years apart. I would love to have a beer with her to celebrate. As a consolation prize, I would gladly party with any of my other birthday mates: Paul Newman, Mario Lemieux, or Eddie Van Halen. Of the three, I'd choose Paul.
FACT:
Regarding my last post, so long ago, I now use iTunes exclusively, and I have even purchased an iPod. I love them both.
FACT:
The cutest Disney animal of all time is Meeko.
FACT:
In the 18th century, they had no Dixie Cups. Dispute it if you dare.
FACT:
I just got back from a week of camping. A real shower never felt so good. A camp shower just can't compare. But the noise of the 'burbs is already getting to me. Re-entry sucks.
FACT:
I have good, self-absorbed, reasons for not having blogged in so long. I have been reading all your blogs, but have remained relatively silent. For this, I apologize. I have decided that major world news items are too much for me, and politics, too aggravating and anger-inducing. I have chosen to resume my blogging in an enitirely self-serving manner and stick to what I know, and what doesn't get me all upset: Stupid Crap. You may have surmised this from the above.
FACT:
I'm now, finally, hitting the sack.
posted by Kristine at 2:00 AM
10 Comments:
When I first read it, I thought you said you drank wine "out of the box", as in without a glass. HA!
K, please self-serve...it is so much in my self-interest, and then I can stop hovering, with a quivering bottom lip, over your spot on my blogroll---your incontrovertible spot, and what,s wrong with Total Eclipse of the Heart? Jim Steinman is self-indulgent, mysogenist and loudish, but brilliant. Bonnie Tyler is dated, big-haired but brilliant. Again, what,s wrong?
p.s. where else would someone correctly spell umlaut and use it in preference to an umlaut?
Great to have you back, Kristine! And very good, right on list. I can't dispute any of them.
Got to say, I'd MUCH rather read stupid crap than political crap. Politics, bah!
Sidenote: My mom and I were discussing the famous letter from Persuasion, and the "You pierce my soul" line. She maintains that no guy could say this line these days without seeming overly effeminate or sensitive. I think that a guy could say it and still seem perfectly manly (mainly I'm thinking about Ralph Fiennes or Hugh Jackman ... saying it to me). Where do you weigh in on this important matter?
Ah, Kelly, you bring up a very worthy point of contention, and I have given this some thought myself. Here's my take:
We must remember that Captain Wentworth wrote the line. He did not speak it. For me, those are very different things. And I do believe that a man today could get away with writing that without coming off as overly sensitive or incredibly gay.
As for speaking it, well, I would say it could be managed in a manly sort of way, but would take a very specific sort of man. If my husband said it to me, I'd be all, "Where have YOU been hanging out, Shakespeare?" If Christian Bale, Daniel Day Lewis, or Gary Oldman (yes, still) said it to me, I'd be on the next flight outta here.
And, for what it's worth, I actually prefer the rest of Wentworth's letter to that particular line. "For you alone I think and plan." "I am half agony, half hope." etc.
I agree with you that other parts of the letter are much better. The discussion of this particular line came up when I read a discussion about the recent movie The Lake House. Someone said that there were several references to Persuasion in this movie. Another person mistook this to mean that the movie was a modern day version of Persuasion. After being corrected, she expressed her relief that she didn't want to hear Keanu Reeves say "You pierce my soul -- dude". :-)
Very good point about the writing versus saying. And you're right, only a certain type of guy could pull it off. An intense guy. Dave couldn't do it either. Too laid back.
Wendy, I'll give you Zazu. I'm not changing my opinion about Meeko, but I see your point. I will never give in on Coke, though.
Well, well, well... look who's back to blogging! And I guess we're just supposed to forget these long months of neglect and welcome you back with open arms, right? Well, forget it. My feelings are still hurt. You have to win me back.
OK, you've already won me back with fact #1. Yes, Batman is so much cooler than Superman it's not even funny. And, besides, if you get the chance to read Frank Miller's AMAZING The Dark Knight Returns, you'll see that Batman DOES kick Superman's butt when he has to. Batman kicks his butt because he's smarter, he's better at the art-of-war, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to beat his opponent. Batman is THE man. Superman sucks. The only reason Superman has any powers at all is because he's an alien. Screw him.
And in all seriousness, if someone was going to read one and only one comic book / graphic novel in their entire life, The Dark Knight Returns would be the one to read.
Oh, boy, Darrell, I have been thinking about picking up a copy of The Dark Knight Returns. I have said that I refuse to buy "comic books." I mean, to me, they are still just comic books, and maybe that's because I don't understand. I went out last year and got a few issues of the Buffy comics, and then never read them. But I think that on this one, I must give in. Now you've done it. I may go grab one tomorrow. My recent Bat-obsession combined with your recommendation has finally won me over. For tomorrow, I venture into the Store-Where-All-The-Customers-Are-Male-And-Wearing-Trench-Coats-And-Knit-Caps-Even-In-Summer.
What a comeback! You did get the Coke fact wrong though...Coke is filmy, leaves and aftertaste, and I suspect could be used as paint thinner. Given a choice, Pepsi is tastier. I don't mind diet Coke as much as regular. In truth, given a choice between the two though I'd opt for Dr Pepper.
Part of what makes Batman so much cooler that Superman is that Batman COULD beat him, if he had to. And he's had to, on more than a few occasions in the comics and cartoons. Take twenty minutes and witness this example:
World's Finest, Part I
I'll give you that a fully armed starship could take out a little freighter with no weapons, although Mal probably would lead them into a nest of Reavers that would have Picard missing the Borg. And man to man, Mal would have Picard in a wheelchair so fast he'd think he was Charles Xavier.
Thumper is the cutest Disney animal; you get cavities watching that little fella.
MCF, that link is awesome! But I cannot believe you played the Thumper card. That's a low blow. Too...cute...must...resist.
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