Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Why I Can't Shut Up

There's no doubt about it, I am sentimental about my alma mater. I tend to go on and on about what a wonderful place SVC is. For just a taste of why that is, click here, and get your Troy on, while you're at it.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Ten Things I Learned This Weekend (Part One of One)

The Unseen One, due to circumstances beyond his control, has declined to post his regular Monday litany of education. In spite of my own reluctance to blog at all, I am ever one to pick up the slack. It would be sad, indeed, if regular readers of his blog were denied ten true facts on a Monday, and so, I present to you, my own list of ten bits o' weekend learning.

1. Some people, despite the blessings and ravages of time, learn nothing and remain real ignorant a-holes. I rest in the knowledge that they will get theirs in the end.

2. I really don't care if the Steelers have a bad year. Last year was more than I could have asked for, and this year it's just fun to watch them play. I refuse to add a silly game to the list of things that stress me out. My heart and my blood pressure don't need anything extra. But I remain ever-faithful to Cowher.

3. Sweet box o' wine = Morning pain. On Sunday morning, I felt like evil dipped in a sugary coating of sin. I haven't felt like that since college. Thank you, SuperJeans.

4. Frank Lloyd Wright may have been a genius, but he occasionally produced the ugly. On a trip to Fallingwater, I learned that the canopy connecting the main house with the guest house was an engineering marvel. Cretin that I am, I could not see it. Our guide said that it was a remarkable feat of concrete and very few supports. Surprising that it was able to stand. I kept thinking, "Yeah, I could make a piece of poop stand on its head, but that wouldn't make it pretty." I wonder what that makes me. I was also not crazy about the combination of American Southwest and Japansese aesthetics. Nope, not crazy at all. I suppose I am just too low-brow. That said, I did think most of the house was brilliant.

5. Speaking of that, Dr. Peter Agre was on The Colbert Report, talking fancy talk about science, and how Americans are unable to distinguish the good science from the bad. He won a Nobel Prize for cell membrane stuff, so I guess that makes him smart. But he said something that I found troubling. He said that there was a trend toward anti-intellectualism in this country, and that fully half of Americans did not read even one book last year. The dumbest people I know, THE DUMBEST, all read a book last year. At least one. I kow a couple of irretrievably stupid people who read more than one. As for anti-intellectualism, well, maybe, but that depends entirely on how you define an intellectual, doesn't it? It seemed to me that he was equating liberalism with intellect. What a surprise. This may deserve its own post. I'll get to it someday. For the record, I read about 24 books last year, and countless articles. Though some were about Sarah Michelle Gellar's ever-changing hairstyles, some were also about Quantum Physics. The smartest man I ever knew was my college mentor and the chair of the Physics department, and he was a religious man, as well. Take that, Agre, you smarty smarty smart pants man. I smacked down a Nobel Laureate. Yay for me.

6. I'm not as good at this as The Unseen One. I can't seem to keep it concise. Brevity is the soul of wit, so I oughta shut up.

7. Steve Carrell is hilarious. Of course, I didn't learn that this weekend, but I extra-learned it. His voice performance in Over the Hedge is nothing short of genius. And the new line with which I will annoy my husband is "but I like a cookie."

8. Some people really need to take their eensy little bit of power and shove it up their you-know-whats. When dealing with anyone in charge of some microthing, I am constantly reminded of the line from Hamlet, "I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself the king of infinite space." A good blogger would take the time to look that up to confirm its accuracy. But I shan't.

9. Sometimes, the most unexpected person, the most seeming pragmatist, the most practical individual, will surprise the hell out of you by admitting she is addicted to fantasy literature. You could have known her for years, and secretly, she's more fluent in Lord of the Rings than you are. Go figure.

10. Because readers depend on The Unseen One for these lifesaving tips, I shall provide one as well. When fencing with a pirate, an elegant and witty retort is as lethal as a physical blow to the heart. So read the thesaurus regularly and keep watching all things Joss Whedon.

Cheers!