JPII
Yesterday, I was out painting in the store all day. I tuned the radio to the news so that I could listen for word on the Pope. ABC talk/news was not paying enough attention, so I switched to BBC world news and occasionally, Radio Dublin (I love the satellite radio.) I got very annoyed when one of my new neighbors, a computer salesman, came over to meet me because it meant I had to turn down the radio. I might miss something. It felt like Good Friday, listening to the reports of the Pope lying on his death bed; listening to the chants of the pilgrims in St. Peter's Square. I was inexplicably stuck with sadness. It was like all of my Catholicism came rushing over me, all at once. I was remembering the nuns, remembering the constant church-going thoughout grade school. I remembered the moment when this Pope was shot, and how the nuns were crying and we were all told to drop to our knees right in the middle of English class and start up a Rosary. I was in 5th grade.
I went home, after the painting, and turned on MSNBC. They can always be counted on when there is a major world event happening. I wanted no distractions. Just a constant view of The Vatican. MSNBC did deliver, and they still are. I watched that view of St. Peter's from 4 PM till 11PM, feeling sick with the thought that this man was dying. I remember when he was elected, how my Pap Pap, his parents also from Krakow, cheered at the Polish Pope. He was soon insisting that we were related to him. Even at the age of 10, I got that this Polish Pope was a big deal, especially to the Polish side of my family. I thought about my Pap Pap, and how he, too, had a ridiculous capacity for healing thoughout his life. He had survived a heart-attack, rolling his car over a hillside, and every medical procedure known to man. I was struck by how much alike they were, really. I thought about my Pap Pap's garish spotlit picture of JPII, with the candles in front of it.
At 11PM, it looked like nothing much was going to happen, and I desperately needed a break. I was completely screwed up from watching Rome for so long. I started to think it was morning. I started to wonder if I could get a flight there, so I could be at St. Peter's. I really, REALLY needed a break. I went and took a shower and watched a couple of M*A*S*H re-reuns. I switched back to MSNBC to see what was happening. There was a rumor that The Vatican would make an announcement and 3AM Eastern. I poured a glass of wine and decided to wait it out. I had to know. I fell asleep.
I woke this morning to find that he was still alive. And as of now, he still is. Now I'm thinking about the creepy secrecy and ritual of Vatican, "The Kremlin on the Tiber". And when my husband called this morning and joked, "How's the Poop?" I got really annoyed and felt extremely defensive of my Catholicism. He's a heathen Protestant, after all, so how could he understand?
I'm headed back to the TV for awhile. Then I'm going to a play tonight. I fear I really will be thinking about The Pope all evening. I never would've believed it.
I went home, after the painting, and turned on MSNBC. They can always be counted on when there is a major world event happening. I wanted no distractions. Just a constant view of The Vatican. MSNBC did deliver, and they still are. I watched that view of St. Peter's from 4 PM till 11PM, feeling sick with the thought that this man was dying. I remember when he was elected, how my Pap Pap, his parents also from Krakow, cheered at the Polish Pope. He was soon insisting that we were related to him. Even at the age of 10, I got that this Polish Pope was a big deal, especially to the Polish side of my family. I thought about my Pap Pap, and how he, too, had a ridiculous capacity for healing thoughout his life. He had survived a heart-attack, rolling his car over a hillside, and every medical procedure known to man. I was struck by how much alike they were, really. I thought about my Pap Pap's garish spotlit picture of JPII, with the candles in front of it.
At 11PM, it looked like nothing much was going to happen, and I desperately needed a break. I was completely screwed up from watching Rome for so long. I started to think it was morning. I started to wonder if I could get a flight there, so I could be at St. Peter's. I really, REALLY needed a break. I went and took a shower and watched a couple of M*A*S*H re-reuns. I switched back to MSNBC to see what was happening. There was a rumor that The Vatican would make an announcement and 3AM Eastern. I poured a glass of wine and decided to wait it out. I had to know. I fell asleep.
I woke this morning to find that he was still alive. And as of now, he still is. Now I'm thinking about the creepy secrecy and ritual of Vatican, "The Kremlin on the Tiber". And when my husband called this morning and joked, "How's the Poop?" I got really annoyed and felt extremely defensive of my Catholicism. He's a heathen Protestant, after all, so how could he understand?
I'm headed back to the TV for awhile. Then I'm going to a play tonight. I fear I really will be thinking about The Pope all evening. I never would've believed it.
posted by Kristine at 12:05 PM
5 Comments:
Not all Protestants are so cavalier about the Pope. Catholocism is the largest denomination, and to me, the Pope has always been the symbolic head of the Christian Church. As you know, I am not Catholic, but I too mourn the Pope's passing. God rest his soul. His service to humanity will never be forgotten. Today, we have lost a great man.
NH, I do hope you realize that I do not consider Protestants to be heathens (not usually , anyway). It was just my gut reaction when my husband made a joke. I got extraordinarily defensive, and, dare I say, proud.
JPII was a great man, and when I flipped over to MSNBC and saw that he had died 20 minutes prior, I cried. I never cry. His last words and last actions touched me in a way that I never thought possible.
I completely understand.
When the Pope died, you guys lost a spiritual father. To many of us, it was like losing a spiritual favorite uncle. Not the same, but still very sad.
I completely understand how you felt when it came to Pap Pap. I as well thought alot about him lately and how proud our family was that the Pope was from our ancestor's home. I also thought how my mom was probably waiting at the gates to meet him, what a wonderful day in heaven it was when he arrived.
Its funny to me that you brought up how eventually it became known that everyone in the family had met him at one time or another, my brother and I were laughing about that the other night, how my mom claimed she knew him. I feel the grief as well. God rest his soul...
I found myself doing the same TV thing, and like you, I missed the announcement of his death. I spent the first half of my life revering everything connected to Catholicism, and the second half trying to salvage the bits that I could hold on to and still be a thinking, rational and spiritual person. I thought JP11 was brilliant and troubled, a not surprising combination, and his death leaves us the poorer. I am so hopeful about the next Pope, and looking forward to the pageantry and red-carpet-like coverage of the next election. God save us all---am I quoting someone? Lorna
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