Random

There have been numerous occasions over the past few weeks which have prompted me to think, "Oh man, that pisses me off. I've gotta blog about this." But alas, the unforeseen pressures and complications of opening a business have prevented me from taking the time. It's awfully late right now, but I'm in hyper-spazzz mode, sleepless, and feel like writing. But I'm too tired to put together something long and well-crafted (as if I ever do). So I'm stealing Name Hidden's format, yet again, and putting down ten random thoughts. Not good, not bad, just random. The numbering format allays the pressures of coming up with reasonable segues.

1. I have come to wonder, of late, how anyone, ever, manages to start a business. I truly do not believe that the actual running of my wee little shop could possibly be as stressful as getting it open in the first place. The rules, the regulations, the insurance adjustors and the inspectors. (Lest I forget, the inadequate circuit breakers. ) Our system does not encourage true free enterprise. In fact, I believe the system encourages failure and punishes success. I just wanna get those doors open. I just wanna sell you a pretty handmade bowl of higher-than-average quality, and at a fair price. What's so hard? It seems that my little freelance writing enterprise did little to educate me in the ways of running a business with a physical address. What was I thinking? Today, I spent $300 on packaging materials, just to let my customers leave with a pretty bag. I'm drowning, and I can't even get the doors open. It'll happen. It'll happen.

2. I have taken my first step into a dark, dark place. Having nervous breakdown v. 6.5, I wandered into my local comic book shop. I bought five Buffy comics. I haven't opened them yet. I'm saving them for when I need a serious lift. I think that's tomorrow. I mean today. Anyway, the surprisingly lovely and friendly comic book proprietor helped me to select a full story arc plus one Spike special edition. I feel good about this. These are my first comic books, but I fear, not my last. Hmmm, except for those Archie Comics I read in junior high. But I think they don't count.

3. Oh my God, it's just gone three o'clock. That's AM! I need to go to bed.

4. I am able to finally make the pronouncement, to say the sooths, and speak the truth. The data has been collected. 100% of men who drive Corvettes are idiots. I owned one for a year. My dad passed away and I inherited his. I never drove it. I sold it to a cousin who fits the description. I love my dad very very much, but still, what's true is true. Q: What's the difference between a Corvette and a porcupine? A: On a porcupine, the pricks are on the OUTSIDE.

5. Come to that, my dear dad passed away eight years ago on this day exactly. May 4. I never quite pass through this date without shedding a tear. It was a Sunday, and I played golf with him that very morning. It's funny. I'm a total Aquarian, and not given very much to sentimentality, nostalgia, or even remembering people's names. But I do remember every single detail of that day. I kinda wish I didn't. The death of a parent, no matter what your relationship with them, has an impact that is surprising. Most of us go through it in life. Even so, you're never quite prepared, and you never quite get over it. My dad died six months after I was married. I am always thankful that I didn't postpone my wedding (as I wanted to) because I'll always have the memory of dancing with my daddy. Damn it. Now I'm sad. And wistful. And soft-focused.

6. Panera opened today in Murrysville, John Malkovich freaks me out, but not in a fun way like Christopher Walken, and I just put up a poster of Aragorn in my office. See? Sadness all gone now.

7. I am ashamed to say that I watch American Idol with approximately the same fervor with which I watch Steeler Football. I'm thinking about seeking counseling for this. There's this one dude on there right now that I love. I actually pick up the phone to vote for him. It's funny. Sometimes, when I watch a Steeler game, and lose my voice over it, I think, "Kristine, you are freaking out over a bunch of overpaid dumb jocks giving each other brain damage. Read a fuckin' book." Then I remember: I watch American Idol. Also, I like SpongeBob. I suck.

8. I am thinking about going out to my car to procure one of my emergency cigarettes. I feel like smoking right now. Yup. Going.

9. Tomorrow, I finally get to test-fire my kiln at the shop. It needs to go to 2200 degrees, and last time, it got to 70 before it blew. If it doesn't work tomorrow, I'm screwed.

10. Looking back on this list, I have little positive to say. I'm not in the best "place" right now (I hate people who say that), so maybe #10 would be a good time to express some positives. I love swimming, popcorn, and root beer. I'll be at the beach for two weeks this summer, and that's as good as it gets. There's this one restaurant down there, Mama Kwan's, that makes the BEST fish tacos north of the Pecos. I own all but one season of Buffy on DVD. I have a pool. Soon, I'll be selling things and stuff. I have awesome dogs. My cats are pretty cool as cats go. I'm having grilled veggies for dinner tomorrow night, my favorite. I love when the onion gets all burnt. I'm going to the BIGASS Pittsburgh Wine Festival at Heinz Field on Thusday, and staying at the Renaissance that night. That's fun. That's really fun. I've never stayed overnight at a hotel that close to home before.

All in all, life is pretty damned good. It's too easy to get caught up in the negative. MMMMMM... Root Beer.