Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Manhater

With a nod to NH, I feel I must report these facts:

Every year, two or three times per year, actually, I go to a week at a YMCA camp session called "Women's Week." I am an instructor there. It's basically a big camp, with cabins and all the regular camp stuff. Women gather for these weeks from all walks of life and of all ages. Youngest I've seen: 18, Oldest: 92. I would say that the average age is about 45, though, and most of the women that come are married. We have classes in yoga, crafts, horseback riding, and sailing. Not to mention wine tasting, financial planning, astronomy, and business. An average of 65 women attend each session. We have tennis tournaments, hikes, and across-the-lake swims. We stay for five days. It's an absolute blast. I learned to do pottery there many years ago.

My camp friends and I have all reported being amazed at how many men ask if we sit around and bitch about men all day. I've been asked by many myself. I had never really thought about it, though. The fact of the matter is, nobody talks about men there, at all. Like rational creatures, we talk books, politics (with some heated debate), recipes, movies, travel, and all those normal subjects. We play practical jokes on one another. We bring our instruments and play at night. We drink wine and sing songs. We compare hiking injuries and bug bites. We bitch about the muddy path to the shower house, and how you need a shower just from walking back to your cabin. We complain about bear poop on the path. We complain about the odd chipmunk in our cabins. We discuss the fact that they serve too much fat-free dressing. We consider that we may be too fat for the poor horses. We discuss the beautiful foliage. We shop for Amish quilts and pies. We marvel at this or that woman's particular talent in kayaking. We spot eagles and listen for owls. But the fact is, of all these women, I know very little about their careers or husbands. I know that they exist, but that's it. It's just not a topic of conversation.

Now, when I hear so many men suggest that women just sit around and bitch about them, or that we rant about our superiority, I have to ask myself: Do women really act like that? Do I just associate with a different kind of women? Am I in the minority? Most of these complaints do not apply to anyone that I know. What does it all mean? All of my married friends love their husbands. If they don't, I don't know about it. I've met their husbands and they seem nice and well-grounded. Where is all this cattiness and back-biting? Many of us are annoyed with this or that little habit, but it rarely comes up in conversation. The one woman I do know who talks too much about her husband is bragging about him all the time, and it gets annoying. I admit that there are many John habits that get on my nerves, but the fact is, I rarely talk about them, and they are not enough to make me actively bitch about him.

For the record, I have been viscously dumped, cheated on, dissed, judged, and lied to by men. I have discovered a boyfriend was gay. I've been insulted and badly-treated. Conclusion: wrong men. I have had boyfriends with whom I've had good breakups, too. Good guys, wrong time. But none of this made me HATE men. Frankly, I still rather like them.

So please, tell me, where are all these women who hate men? I personally don't know any.

2 Comments:

Blogger The Unseen One said...

Disagreement with or being annoyed at does not equal hate.

11:40 AM  
Blogger The Unseen One said...

I also hope you took that post of mine in the way it was meant to be taken. None of it was serious or personal. It was just in fun (everyone loves a good villian).

;)

10:22 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home